Is Michael a Vick-tim? Sorry. That was lame.

I'm foregoing all apologies this time.

I suck. I haven't kept my commitment.

But I'm back now.

I'm probably going to get into another blog right after this one because I'm log-jammed due to the lack of writing.

Let's first begin with the perceived persecution of Michael Vick. The former Virginia Tech super-star and NFL's highest-paid player has received a conditional reinstatement and an additional 5-game suspension to start the 2009 football season.

I've been sort of torn between the two-sides of this argument in the past few weeks. At first I thought that an additional suspension would be overkill. You could make the argument it constitutes double-jeopardy (not in the legal sense, of course).

But the more I think about it, the more appropriate I think this is. Goodell essentially put Vick in a 5-week probationary period. It's only a suspension by name.

He can sign with a team today... like right now. He can participate in all team activities, earn a paycheck and he can even play in the final two preseason games. Goodell is essentially creating a hyper-controlled environment for Vick's transition back into the league. Which will probably benefit both parties in the long run.

What more was Vick going to do anyway? He has missed two full seasons. He's far from being in game shape, and the speed of the NFL game is not something to which a player can acclimate himself very quickly; especially when time has been creeping by in a prison cell for the past two years.

The reality of the situation is that all 32 NFL teams may pass on Michael Vick. He may end up playing in Canada or in the UFL when it's all said and done. I'm not sure how likely that is considering what Vick could potentially bring to a team in in the second half of the season. But I'm also not sure how favorably any NFL franchise is going to look upon the guaranteed media circus, the possible lost sponsorships, and PETA demonstrators outside of every practice and game.

So what is he complaining about? Apparently the "Vick Camp" is devastated by the decision and says that he will re-apply for full reinstatement no later than week one, citing Goodell's decision as "excessive."

Really?

Vick gets to play football again and get paid for it (league minimum for Vick is in the neighborhood of $620,000), but somehow that's not good enough?

Do they know who is going to review Roger Goodell's decision if they appeal?

The NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell.

Goodell is extending Vick's suspension to protect the NFL brand; to keep his league popular and its teams profitable. The Commissioner is going hold tight on the reins, and he will not let this Vick situation harm the league's image if he can avoid it. He's going to protect the reputation of his league, Michael Vick's bank account and legacy be damned.




Terrell Owens struck another nerve with me today, and it begs the question:

Can we please stop using words and phrases like "deserves" and "has a right" when referring to Michael Vick playing football?

Vick may have a right to make a living, but he certainly doesn't "have a right" to play again in the NFL. Even he admitted that playing professional football is a privilege.

If Katie Couric were fired from the CBS Evening News for bankrolling a prostitution ring, do you think we'd be talking about her reinstatement? Do you think she'd call up the President of the company on the day of her release and ask him what time she should be in studio to read the news?

The rules may be different for athletes and celebrities, but Michael Vick isn't entitled to a damn thing. And it certainly isn't Roger Goodell's problem that all Vick can do is play football.

T.O. said that Vick has "suffered enough." No. He has been serving a sentence and receiving punishment for a crime that he deliberately committed and subsequently lied about. Repeatedly.

The most obnoxious thing that Vick advocates say is, "he made a mistake, and he's paid for it."

No, no, no. Plaxico Burress made a mistake. He didn't mean to shoot himself in the leg.

By all accounts, Vick electrocuted, hanged, strangled, drowned, and repeatedly slammed dogs into the ground if they didn't perform in the ring.

That's sociopathic behavior at it's finest. That's the stuff that serial killers are made of.

Michael Vick didn't make a mistake. He made conscious decisions to fund and partake in the brutal execution of helpless animals. As far as remorse is concerned, the only bit that he's conveyed to the public was in the post-conviction statement that his publicist wrote for him.

At the end of the day, I guess, the bottom line is this:

Let Mike play in week 6. If so many of these other delinquents deserve 2nd and 3rd chances then he certainly does too. Maybe he'll be able to resurrect his career and lead a good life. I hope so for his family's sake.

I'll put my money on the fact that he hasn't changed very much though.

Reports and eyewitnesses put him at a strip club last week with Allen Iverson. I'm not condemning him for going to a strip club. We've all been once. It probably wasn't the best PR move though.

(By the way, I don't have any actual proof that he was there... but this is a blog so I don't have to.)

"How are you [not] honoring MJ today?"

Sorry I haven't written. But rather than inundate you with mediocre thoughts every day, I thought I'd do you all a favor and not write when I don't feel inspired to do so. I've been feeling creatively stifled for the past week, but I'm starting to break out... I think.

So instead of laying out one huge diatribe on you, I'm going to scribble out a short laundry list of things that I need to get off my chest.



- Enough with Michael Jackson. MJ blessed us with some great music and is without a doubt the greatest performer in pop history. With that being said, I don't need to hear another word about that man dying.

Say what you want about the child molestation accusations. Call him a freak. He was a generally absurd person when it comes down to it. None of that really matters. What bothers me is that over a week after he died, we still can't get away from it. Not all of us are devastated by his death. It doesn't mean I'm happy he's gone, but there are much greater men in this world who don't receive 1% of the adulation when they die.

I was honestly more shocked and saddened that Billy Mays died. Jackson ingested an obscene amount of prescription drugs on the daily, and had been under the knife more times than every aspiring porn star in L.A. What kind of shelf-life did people think he had?

The media, once again, is going overkill with the story. A poll conducted last week tracked major media outlets after Jackson's death and concluded that the story comprised 60% of the news coverage in America. That's too pathetic for words. One CNN headline/poll asked readers "How are you honoring MJ today?" I vomited in my lap.

8 U.S. soldiers have died in Iraq in the past 2 days alone. However, that headline seems to get buried deeper and deeper every day that Michael Jackson is... well... still dead. The United States' infrastructure is crumbling before our eyes. Another bridge collapsed this week. Sarah Palin resigned on Friday, but it took the weekend for many people to notice because the viewing public was still "reeling from" and "coping with" MJ's death.

The mainstream media would have us believe that entertainers with drug addictions, anxiety disorders and child-collecting hobbies are the people who matter to us. They want us to have faith that they, the gatekeepers of world news, are delivering to us the most important happenings in our world today. Screw them. Sure, they give us hard news, but there's no telling how much crap like Lindsey Lohan's latest crotch photo or "K-Fed's sudden weight gain" you'll have to sift through to get to it.

The worst part is that the American people aren't clammering for "real news" because the majority of them are too dumb to understand what most of it means. Ask the guy on the street why we're in Afghanistan. What's going on in Iran? Which Republican Governor is resigning this week because he had a mistress? That last question could be multiple choice with 5 correct answers and the majority of Americans would get it wrong.

Moral of the story: We're all doomed.

*** So I lied. That was one huge diatribe. But I have a shorter list for you here:


Other thoughts of the day:

- I'm not going to slam Sarah Palin. I promise. I don't need to do that, and in many cases it's not fair. Sarah Palin is charismatic, ambitious, and unique (not to mention the sexiest political figure in the world today). Despite my personal belief that saying "President Palin" 3 times would summon the apocalypse, I think she does get slightly mistreated in the media. I said slightly.

On the other hand, it's absurd for anyone to think that Sarah Palin will ever be President of the United States. Her own campaign advisors have stated publicly that she had the Geography knowledge of a 10th grader and her grasp of foreign relations was worse than abysmal. She just doesn't have what it takes. Neither do I. You don't either. There's no shame in that.

Palin has resigned early from every political office she's attained because she coveted another, higher position. There's nothing wrong with an ambition to climb the ladder, but her actions are blatantly contradictory to principles and values of "commitment" that she preached about last fall and she's dug her own political grave.

Palin does have the opportunity to make some serious money in conservative radio and TV news. Not to mention speaking engagements, and the inevitable memoirs. Obviously Fox News would pay megabucks to put her in front of the camera, just as they did another failed GOP Presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee.

Young, church-going teenage men across the country would certainly invest their allowances in a "Ladies of the GOP" calendar with Palin on the cover. Hell, if you got Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Mrs. McCain and Anne Coulter involved they'd have the first 4 months of pretty awesome calendar. Give those four their own talk-show and sell it for $11.99 on late night PPV. Think about the campaign contributions from a moneymaker like that...

- Magic Johnson said that Michael Jackson made him a better PG during his playing days. Enough said.

- Brock Lesnar is going to give Frank Mir the business in UFC 100. Frank Mir is great, but he caught a break against Lesnar last time. This time, Lesnar (the heavyweight champion) has a few fights under his belt and has had time to improve his ground game. Look for Lesnar's XXXL gloves to spend a lot of time on Mir's face.

- Twitter sucks. It's stupid, and it's ruining the world. I refuse to participate and I hope you do too.