Is Michael a Vick-tim? Sorry. That was lame.

I'm foregoing all apologies this time.

I suck. I haven't kept my commitment.

But I'm back now.

I'm probably going to get into another blog right after this one because I'm log-jammed due to the lack of writing.

Let's first begin with the perceived persecution of Michael Vick. The former Virginia Tech super-star and NFL's highest-paid player has received a conditional reinstatement and an additional 5-game suspension to start the 2009 football season.

I've been sort of torn between the two-sides of this argument in the past few weeks. At first I thought that an additional suspension would be overkill. You could make the argument it constitutes double-jeopardy (not in the legal sense, of course).

But the more I think about it, the more appropriate I think this is. Goodell essentially put Vick in a 5-week probationary period. It's only a suspension by name.

He can sign with a team today... like right now. He can participate in all team activities, earn a paycheck and he can even play in the final two preseason games. Goodell is essentially creating a hyper-controlled environment for Vick's transition back into the league. Which will probably benefit both parties in the long run.

What more was Vick going to do anyway? He has missed two full seasons. He's far from being in game shape, and the speed of the NFL game is not something to which a player can acclimate himself very quickly; especially when time has been creeping by in a prison cell for the past two years.

The reality of the situation is that all 32 NFL teams may pass on Michael Vick. He may end up playing in Canada or in the UFL when it's all said and done. I'm not sure how likely that is considering what Vick could potentially bring to a team in in the second half of the season. But I'm also not sure how favorably any NFL franchise is going to look upon the guaranteed media circus, the possible lost sponsorships, and PETA demonstrators outside of every practice and game.

So what is he complaining about? Apparently the "Vick Camp" is devastated by the decision and says that he will re-apply for full reinstatement no later than week one, citing Goodell's decision as "excessive."

Really?

Vick gets to play football again and get paid for it (league minimum for Vick is in the neighborhood of $620,000), but somehow that's not good enough?

Do they know who is going to review Roger Goodell's decision if they appeal?

The NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell.

Goodell is extending Vick's suspension to protect the NFL brand; to keep his league popular and its teams profitable. The Commissioner is going hold tight on the reins, and he will not let this Vick situation harm the league's image if he can avoid it. He's going to protect the reputation of his league, Michael Vick's bank account and legacy be damned.




Terrell Owens struck another nerve with me today, and it begs the question:

Can we please stop using words and phrases like "deserves" and "has a right" when referring to Michael Vick playing football?

Vick may have a right to make a living, but he certainly doesn't "have a right" to play again in the NFL. Even he admitted that playing professional football is a privilege.

If Katie Couric were fired from the CBS Evening News for bankrolling a prostitution ring, do you think we'd be talking about her reinstatement? Do you think she'd call up the President of the company on the day of her release and ask him what time she should be in studio to read the news?

The rules may be different for athletes and celebrities, but Michael Vick isn't entitled to a damn thing. And it certainly isn't Roger Goodell's problem that all Vick can do is play football.

T.O. said that Vick has "suffered enough." No. He has been serving a sentence and receiving punishment for a crime that he deliberately committed and subsequently lied about. Repeatedly.

The most obnoxious thing that Vick advocates say is, "he made a mistake, and he's paid for it."

No, no, no. Plaxico Burress made a mistake. He didn't mean to shoot himself in the leg.

By all accounts, Vick electrocuted, hanged, strangled, drowned, and repeatedly slammed dogs into the ground if they didn't perform in the ring.

That's sociopathic behavior at it's finest. That's the stuff that serial killers are made of.

Michael Vick didn't make a mistake. He made conscious decisions to fund and partake in the brutal execution of helpless animals. As far as remorse is concerned, the only bit that he's conveyed to the public was in the post-conviction statement that his publicist wrote for him.

At the end of the day, I guess, the bottom line is this:

Let Mike play in week 6. If so many of these other delinquents deserve 2nd and 3rd chances then he certainly does too. Maybe he'll be able to resurrect his career and lead a good life. I hope so for his family's sake.

I'll put my money on the fact that he hasn't changed very much though.

Reports and eyewitnesses put him at a strip club last week with Allen Iverson. I'm not condemning him for going to a strip club. We've all been once. It probably wasn't the best PR move though.

(By the way, I don't have any actual proof that he was there... but this is a blog so I don't have to.)

"How are you [not] honoring MJ today?"

Sorry I haven't written. But rather than inundate you with mediocre thoughts every day, I thought I'd do you all a favor and not write when I don't feel inspired to do so. I've been feeling creatively stifled for the past week, but I'm starting to break out... I think.

So instead of laying out one huge diatribe on you, I'm going to scribble out a short laundry list of things that I need to get off my chest.



- Enough with Michael Jackson. MJ blessed us with some great music and is without a doubt the greatest performer in pop history. With that being said, I don't need to hear another word about that man dying.

Say what you want about the child molestation accusations. Call him a freak. He was a generally absurd person when it comes down to it. None of that really matters. What bothers me is that over a week after he died, we still can't get away from it. Not all of us are devastated by his death. It doesn't mean I'm happy he's gone, but there are much greater men in this world who don't receive 1% of the adulation when they die.

I was honestly more shocked and saddened that Billy Mays died. Jackson ingested an obscene amount of prescription drugs on the daily, and had been under the knife more times than every aspiring porn star in L.A. What kind of shelf-life did people think he had?

The media, once again, is going overkill with the story. A poll conducted last week tracked major media outlets after Jackson's death and concluded that the story comprised 60% of the news coverage in America. That's too pathetic for words. One CNN headline/poll asked readers "How are you honoring MJ today?" I vomited in my lap.

8 U.S. soldiers have died in Iraq in the past 2 days alone. However, that headline seems to get buried deeper and deeper every day that Michael Jackson is... well... still dead. The United States' infrastructure is crumbling before our eyes. Another bridge collapsed this week. Sarah Palin resigned on Friday, but it took the weekend for many people to notice because the viewing public was still "reeling from" and "coping with" MJ's death.

The mainstream media would have us believe that entertainers with drug addictions, anxiety disorders and child-collecting hobbies are the people who matter to us. They want us to have faith that they, the gatekeepers of world news, are delivering to us the most important happenings in our world today. Screw them. Sure, they give us hard news, but there's no telling how much crap like Lindsey Lohan's latest crotch photo or "K-Fed's sudden weight gain" you'll have to sift through to get to it.

The worst part is that the American people aren't clammering for "real news" because the majority of them are too dumb to understand what most of it means. Ask the guy on the street why we're in Afghanistan. What's going on in Iran? Which Republican Governor is resigning this week because he had a mistress? That last question could be multiple choice with 5 correct answers and the majority of Americans would get it wrong.

Moral of the story: We're all doomed.

*** So I lied. That was one huge diatribe. But I have a shorter list for you here:


Other thoughts of the day:

- I'm not going to slam Sarah Palin. I promise. I don't need to do that, and in many cases it's not fair. Sarah Palin is charismatic, ambitious, and unique (not to mention the sexiest political figure in the world today). Despite my personal belief that saying "President Palin" 3 times would summon the apocalypse, I think she does get slightly mistreated in the media. I said slightly.

On the other hand, it's absurd for anyone to think that Sarah Palin will ever be President of the United States. Her own campaign advisors have stated publicly that she had the Geography knowledge of a 10th grader and her grasp of foreign relations was worse than abysmal. She just doesn't have what it takes. Neither do I. You don't either. There's no shame in that.

Palin has resigned early from every political office she's attained because she coveted another, higher position. There's nothing wrong with an ambition to climb the ladder, but her actions are blatantly contradictory to principles and values of "commitment" that she preached about last fall and she's dug her own political grave.

Palin does have the opportunity to make some serious money in conservative radio and TV news. Not to mention speaking engagements, and the inevitable memoirs. Obviously Fox News would pay megabucks to put her in front of the camera, just as they did another failed GOP Presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee.

Young, church-going teenage men across the country would certainly invest their allowances in a "Ladies of the GOP" calendar with Palin on the cover. Hell, if you got Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Mrs. McCain and Anne Coulter involved they'd have the first 4 months of pretty awesome calendar. Give those four their own talk-show and sell it for $11.99 on late night PPV. Think about the campaign contributions from a moneymaker like that...

- Magic Johnson said that Michael Jackson made him a better PG during his playing days. Enough said.

- Brock Lesnar is going to give Frank Mir the business in UFC 100. Frank Mir is great, but he caught a break against Lesnar last time. This time, Lesnar (the heavyweight champion) has a few fights under his belt and has had time to improve his ground game. Look for Lesnar's XXXL gloves to spend a lot of time on Mir's face.

- Twitter sucks. It's stupid, and it's ruining the world. I refuse to participate and I hope you do too.

Ridiculous...

I don't have much time so I want to hit on one topic very quickly.

Alexi Lalas is doing another stint as a soccer analyst for ESPN during these World Cup qualifying matches. Despite not really giving a damn about soccer, I think he's doing a fantastic job. He's well-spoken, bright, and funny from time to time. Those qualities alone give him a leg up on 90% of the other buffoons that ESPN puts on to "analyze" things for us.

But he made a curious statement today that made me think. U.S. Goalkeeper Tim Howard is back between the pipes against Spain today at 2:25 p.m. (a match that will probably result in the Spaniards being charged with manslaughter) after sitting out the Americans' win vs. Egypt. Lalas said that Howard "sat out the match for some well-deserved rest."



Some well-deserved rest...

Now I understand that U.S. Soccer team is the Memphis Grizzlies of international soccer, and Howard probably deals with more shots-on-goal than any other team in this tournament.

HOWEVER, during a 90 minute soccer match Tim Howard does not have to sprint or even jog for more than 20 yards. He spents 80% of the game standing perfectly still watching 10 other players zig-zag across the pitch, laboring after a little leather ball probably made in the sweatshops of the country that he's playing against.

Until today, I thought that A-Rod sitting out one game per week until the all-star break due to "exhaustion" was the most ridiculous case of athlete pampering I'd ever seen. And it probably still is because it has longevity. But this is probably the most absurd thing I've ever seen.

Now please. I'm by no means a soccer expert. I don't really care much for the sport except during the World Cup which is incredible. I'm barely a novice. So if Tim Howard sat out that game for some real injury that would hamper his ability to move effectively within a 10 yard area someone please let me know.

Until that time, Tim Howard is officially the captain of my "Weener Sissy All-Star Team."

Work for a non-profit instead.

I realized today that I no longer want to be what I thought I wanted to be when I grow up.

Now that I'm done with college, and I'm an "adult" by most reasonable standards, I'm supposed to know what I want to "do."

Well, I don't.

2 reasons...

(1) I'm sure that, like me, many of my fellow communication graduates from VT came in as freshman expecting to leave with their B.A. and immediately get a hot-shot job as a sports-writer/broadcaster/reporter/marketer. And like me, most of them are finding that task just shy of impossible.

It's not that these people aren't talented. In fact, I had class and worked with a ton of supremely talented people. Great people. The problem is that a very small percentage of those people are now employed in the fields that they set out to join.

Why? Well, because as people have known for a few decades now, it's not how talented you are but rather who you know. Too many idiots that I graduated with are now gainfully employed by network TV stations or top-100 market news stations because mom/dad/uncle had a connection or because they looked good in a halter top. Do I sound bitter? Jealous? That's probably because I am. It's impossible not to be.

In a field that's supposed to require creativity and real talent to succeed, it's hard to watch people prosper who have neither.

(2) I am honestly embarrassed to work as a part of the sports media. It's the same recycled garbage day in and day out. The 24 hour news cycle has irreparably ruined sports (and news for that matter). Everything and nothing is newsworthy all at the same time.

Selling oxycontin to middle schoolers is a more noble profession than being a sports reporter/writer/marketer.

Nothing is original. Even when people produce work that does show originality it can't stand out among the perpetual crap that we're exposed to daily.

Did anyone watch the post-game press conferences during the NBA Finals? What an embarrassment! For every thoughtful, legitimate question asked there were 5 more that made you cringe or laugh out loud. I'm a HUGE Lakers fan, but the best part of the series was watching Stan Van Gundy in the post-game. Belittling and embarrassing those reporters should have a least gotten him a few votes for Finals MVP.

Most talk show hosts are intolerable, unoriginal hacks who steal and regurgitate other hosts' material. Anchors like Stuart Scott and Jonathan Coachman make me want to light my head on fire and sit indian-style on a speargun. For Christ's sake, Jonathan Coachman was an announcer for "WWE Raw." That's professional wrestling for those of you who don't know.



Most sideline reporters are so incredibly ignorant that you can't help but mute the television. This, however, is largely the law of nature. Networks only hire hotties to do that job, and we all know that the percentage of hotties/smarties is marginal.

Even Erin Andrews, who is fairly good at her job, can't be taken seriously because everyone knows why she got the damn job in the first place.

Play-by-play announcers are largely a talented group of people. Reporters like Jeremy Schaap, Rachel Nichols, and Tom Renaldi produce great material more often than not. The entire cast of "HBO Real Sports" (minus that uber-douche Bryant Gumbel) is a dying breed. That show represents the kind of quality journalism that will be extinct in 20 years.

Every time I think of applying to another job with a TV or radio station, I can't help but become overwhelmed with a sense of guilt for not doing something more meaningful with my life. And that really pisses me off, because there was a time when you could aspire to work in this industry and not be ashamed of it.

Most of you are thinking "He's full of it. He would take a job with ESPN in a heartbeat."

You're damn right I would. It sure as hell beats working a boring 9-5 for the rest of my life.

But the bottom line is this: the sports media is largely becoming a joke and if you allow yourselves to take a step back and look at it for what it is... you might just be as embarrassed of the profession as I am.

Coaches, players, GM's and most fans no longer respect the sports journalism profession or the "professionals" that comprise it. If they can't, how can we?

Album of the Week

Since Sunday starts the new week I thought I'd toss this out there.









Notorious B.I.G. - Life After Death

This 2-disc set will keep you bumpin' on a long road trip or throughout the entire work week.

Stay tuned.

Jerry Falwell, Jr. = Hank Steinbrenner

So I'm back from VA Beach and the worst job interview known to man. The job ended up being exactly what I don't want to do with the rest of my life. So to hell with them, and to hell with taking crappy jobs just to say that you have one.

I'm essentially back to square one, but I've got something in the works. As soon as I unveil my plans, you'll be the first to know.

On another note:

Jerry Falwell Sr. is dead. Has been for some time now. But the university that he founded based on hate and divisiveness was left in the hands of his son. And Jerry Jr. continues to make the same kind of news that his father did.

Liberty will no longer recognize the school's Democrats' club as an official organization because apparently their ideals are "out of control" and can no longer be "sanctioned." Unless the Young Dems link up with a pro-life organization on campus, Falwell Jr. and his band of right reverends will continue to cleanse their theocratic fortress of evil-doers and baby killers.

I won't spend much time on this because religion and abortion discussions trigger an unrivaled repulsion in me. Certain groups use their platforms on these issues in their attempts to take over the world, and I hate it.

Liberty University is a private institution. Since he couldn't sue these bible beaters for repression of free speech, the president of the College Democrats decided to leave school and transfer to another university.

Many of you will read this and assume that I dislike christians or christianity. Not true. Although I may not be a practicing christian, I admire people of faith. It just so happens that I don't have any. And this kind of tyrannical christianity is exactly why.


Thoughts of the day:

- Did the USGA seriously think they could get away with keeping the ticket money from Thursday's opening round of the U.S. Open? The USGA sold 50,000 tickets at $150 a pop to watch the FIRST ROUND. That's $7.5 million for Thursday alone. Tiger didn't even come close to finishing his round and Phil never left the range. Professional sports organizations are having a hard enough time exploiting fans in this economy. Trying to take the money and run is a sure fire way to keep fans at home watching on TV.

- Alex Rodriguez now has a bird chest. We haven't seen a more obvious post-steroid performance since Javier Lopez. A-Rod's hitting .145 in the month of June, but hey... he's dating Kate Hudson.

- Lindsey Lohan posted a topless picture of herself on Twitter. This is just another reason for me not to use Twitter. She looks like a dusty old duffle bag full of tent poles.

Wanna hear something funny...

So my little brother thought it would be hilarious to take a couple of swipes at my chest with a beard trimmer while I was brushing my teeth. The end result was two bald racing stripes in the middle of chest.

As a result, I have shaved my chest for the first time in my natural born life. I won't elaborate but I will say this: summer isn't nearly as hot with bald chesticles. So while I still think that dudes who obsess about that sort of thing are a little iffy... I can certainly understand the appeal.

I'm leaving for Va Beach/ Norfolk here in a few hours and I'm collecting some tunes for the drive. That reminded me to list my album of the week:


Darius Rucker- Learn to Live


I'm not sure if I'll make this a regular installment or not seeing as you're all grown people who can pick out music for yourselves. However, I saw him in concert about 3 weeks back and immediately bought the album from iTunes. Aside from one or two borderline stinkers, it's a very good album... if you like country music that is.

Gotta run now. Haven't packed yet. Remember I'm headed to the 757 this evening so call me if you're there.



Thoughts of the day:

- The United States will never win a World Cup. It just won't happen. They had this conversation on ESPN radio today. All of these suburban soccer fanatics need to realize that every other country in the world sends their best athletes to international soccer competitions. We send guys that weren't big enough play football or tall enough to play basketball. That's no disrespect to what those athletes have accomplished or what they can do... but the sport just isn't a priority in this country.

- I've been saying this one for a while now. Stan Van Gundy looks like Jack Black and Danny Devito made a baby.