So instead of laying out one huge diatribe on you, I'm going to scribble out a short laundry list of things that I need to get off my chest.
- Enough with Michael Jackson. MJ blessed us with some great music and is without a doubt the greatest performer in pop history. With that being said, I don't need to hear another word about that man dying.
Say what you want about the child molestation accusations. Call him a freak. He was a generally absurd person when it comes down to it. None of that really matters. What bothers me is that over a week after he died, we still can't get away from it. Not all of us are devastated by his death. It doesn't mean I'm happy he's gone, but there are much greater men in this world who don't receive 1% of the adulation when they die.
I was honestly more shocked and saddened that Billy Mays died. Jackson ingested an obscene amount of prescription drugs on the daily, and had been under the knife more times than every aspiring porn star in L.A. What kind of shelf-life did people think he had?
The media, once again, is going overkill with the story. A poll conducted last week tracked major media outlets after Jackson's death and concluded that the story comprised 60% of the news coverage in America. That's too pathetic for words. One CNN headline/poll asked readers "How are you honoring MJ today?" I vomited in my lap.
8 U.S. soldiers have died in Iraq in the past 2 days alone. However, that headline seems to get buried deeper and deeper every day that Michael Jackson is... well... still dead. The United States' infrastructure is crumbling before our eyes. Another bridge collapsed this week. Sarah Palin resigned on Friday, but it took the weekend for many people to notice because the viewing public was still "reeling from" and "coping with" MJ's death.
The mainstream media would have us believe that entertainers with drug addictions, anxiety disorders and child-collecting hobbies are the people who matter to us. They want us to have faith that they, the gatekeepers of world news, are delivering to us the most important happenings in our world today. Screw them. Sure, they give us hard news, but there's no telling how much crap like Lindsey Lohan's latest crotch photo or "K-Fed's sudden weight gain" you'll have to sift through to get to it.
The worst part is that the American people aren't clammering for "real news" because the majority of them are too dumb to understand what most of it means. Ask the guy on the street why we're in Afghanistan. What's going on in Iran? Which Republican Governor is resigning this week because he had a mistress? That last question could be multiple choice with 5 correct answers and the majority of Americans would get it wrong.
Moral of the story: We're all doomed.
*** So I lied. That was one huge diatribe. But I have a shorter list for you here:
Other thoughts of the day:
- I'm not going to slam Sarah Palin. I promise. I don't need to do that, and in many cases it's not fair. Sarah Palin is charismatic, ambitious, and unique (not to mention the sexiest political figure in the world today). Despite my personal belief that saying "President Palin" 3 times would summon the apocalypse, I think she does get slightly mistreated in the media. I said slightly.
On the other hand, it's absurd for anyone to think that Sarah Palin will ever be President of the United States. Her own campaign advisors have stated publicly that she had the Geography knowledge of a 10th grader and her grasp of foreign relations was worse than abysmal. She just doesn't have what it takes. Neither do I. You don't either. There's no shame in that.
Palin has resigned early from every political office she's attained because she coveted another, higher position. There's nothing wrong with an ambition to climb the ladder, but her actions are blatantly contradictory to principles and values of "commitment" that she preached about last fall and she's dug her own political grave.
Palin does have the opportunity to make some serious money in conservative radio and TV news. Not to mention speaking engagements, and the inevitable memoirs. Obviously Fox News would pay megabucks to put her in front of the camera, just as they did another failed GOP Presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee.
Young, church-going teenage men across the country would certainly invest their allowances in a "Ladies of the GOP" calendar with Palin on the cover. Hell, if you got Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Mrs. McCain and Anne Coulter involved they'd have the first 4 months of pretty awesome calendar. Give those four their own talk-show and sell it for $11.99 on late night PPV. Think about the campaign contributions from a moneymaker like that...
- Magic Johnson said that Michael Jackson made him a better PG during his playing days. Enough said.
- Brock Lesnar is going to give Frank Mir the business in UFC 100. Frank Mir is great, but he caught a break against Lesnar last time. This time, Lesnar (the heavyweight champion) has a few fights under his belt and has had time to improve his ground game. Look for Lesnar's XXXL gloves to spend a lot of time on Mir's face.
- Twitter sucks. It's stupid, and it's ruining the world. I refuse to participate and I hope you do too.
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